...the term “going whole hog” isn’t metaphorical at your house.
...your neighbors have complained to your home owner’s association about “second hand smoke”.
...you demand that your spouse of 30 years leave the kitchen when you make a batch of your “secret” bbq sauce.
...you wore a brown wedding dress so the rib sauce wouldn’t show.
...you’ve ever used the phrase, “rub my butt” in front of your mother.
...If you have more roasting boxes on your deck than you have people living in your house.
...you take a notepad and pen to the zoo, in case you get an idea for a new recipe.
...you’ve ever had to adjust your roast-time for “blizzard-like conditions”.
...you have the only 6 y/o on your block with a Cajun Microwave instead of an Easy-Bake Oven.
...you can recite the exact “pull temps” for beef, pork, and chicken, but can’t remember your zip code.
...you’ve forcibly removed someone from your house for using ketchup.
...you grow 6 kinds of peppers, but your lawn has been dead for a year.
...you’re no longer allowed to recite “your version” of The 3 Little Pigs to your children/grandchildren.
...you’ve ever removed a wedding picture from a frame, because it was the only one that your “Best in Pork” certificate would fit in.
...you’ve ever stabbed someone with a meat thermometer for “peeking.”
...you named your twin daughters “Kingsford” & “Mojo”.
...you wish Glade Plug-Ins came in Hickory and Mesquite.
...your spouse has ever accused you of loving your roasting box more than them, and you replied, “Which one?”
Go ahead and add yours...you know you want to!
~Chef Perry
As a third-generation chef, Perry P. Perkins focuses his love of cooking on barbeque, traditional southern fare, and fresh Northwest cuisine.
Perry runs the non-profit organization, MY KITCHEN Outreach Program, which teaches nutrition, shopping, and hands on cooking classes for at risk youth.
His cookbooks include La Caja China Cooking, La Caja China World, La Caja China Party, and the NEW “La Caja China Grill.”
You can follow the rest of Chef Perry’s cooking adventures at ChefPerryPerkins.com